Posts Tagged ‘prayer’

The intensity on the dog’s face shows more sincerity than most people! 

Be sure you read the prayer  below .  


‘ Dear Lord: Thank you for bringing me to Timmy’s house and not to Michael Vick’s — AMEN!


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We have all learned to live with “voice mail” as a necessary part of modern
life. But, have you wondered, what if God decided to install voice mail?

Imagine praying and hearing this:
Thank you for calling My Father’s House.
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for All Other Inquiries.

What if God used the familiar excuse…”I’m sorry, all of our angels are
busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to
us and will be answered in the order it was received, so please stay on the

Can you imagine getting these responses as you call God in Prayer?

If you would like to speak to:
Gabriel, Press 1
Michael, Press 2
For a directory of other angels, Press 3
If you’d like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you are holding, please
press 4.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven,
Press 5, enter his or her social security number, then
press the pound key. (If you get a negative response, try
area code 666.)
For reservations at “My Father’s House” please enter J-O-H-N, followed by

What if you heard, our computers show that you have already prayed once
today.  Please hang up and try again tomorrow.
                                  ( or )
This office is closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.
Please pray again Monday after 9:30 AM.  If you need emergency assistance
when this office is closed, contact your local pastor.

Thank GOD He Doesn’t Have Voice Mail And He
Always Listens When We Pray!!!  After all, remember that God always answers
all knee mail.

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